uninhibited

it's gona be worth it

2009-07-01T18:56:00.002-05:00

"There are battles to be fought to
possess our promises. Joshua was a man of faith,
but he was also a warrior. This is also a reality we
must have—to possess our promises will require
us to fight for them. Anything that comes too
easily or too fast is usually insignificant. The
promises we have been given in these times are
some of the most significant ever given to the
people of God. Those who are not willing to fight
for them are not worthy of them."

-rick joyner

impact

2009-06-25T16:28:00.004-05:00

So week 2 has come and gone, along with many amazing people. i am so blessed to be able to meet such awesome kids who really love God and are pressing in to know Him!

I have been reminded over the past couple of weeks, as i meet and am blessed by so many people, what an impact one person can have on someone's life. often times we go about our day with no regard to thos around us, people who could be hurting, needy, hungry, in need of comfort, love, compassion or mercy. Everyday we probably pass a person we could have blessed or encouraged, or that we in turn would have been blessed or encouraged by. every day at the AIDS camp i meet new people, people who have been here for years and among these people are prophets, evangilists, encouragers, blessers, healers and lovers of Jesus. never would i have imagined to find in this place such passionate and strong Jesus chasers! And so i am reminded that every day is an opportunity; an oppotunity to change a persons life, to bless, to love, to impact. i can see this so clearly through Jesus, who as one man came and by His simple and radical walk impacted countless lives and to this day is continuing to do so. think of the diference He made in the 12 disciples and then the diference the 12 made in dozens and the dozens in hundreds and the hundreds in thousands. Oh that we would live each day in such a meaningful way that the people God sends in our lives are impacted and then they in turn impact othres. i am challenged and blessed by this call to take each day and live it according to His walk, taking every trial as an opportunity to grow and bless. We have all been given a life to live, the real challenge lies in how we live each day as it comes our way.

first week in the bahamas

2009-06-14T21:44:00.005-05:00

so folks it has been the end of the begining week of a crazy three months. this little blogger bloop may seem highly impersonal, but it is pretty much the only i can update all the amazing people i wish i could share the sorties of this awesome adventures with!

many of you may know that before the rainbow comes the storm and so it has been this first week. sicnce day#1 we have had trials and are so very excited to see how awesome God has and will continue to come through for us! i wish i could share in detail all the amazingness that has been happening here but i will have to conform to a brief overview:(

the first day we got to the airport with nine bags and all of them 20 pounds overweight, awesomely enough the lady waived the $1,500 fee. (miracle #1). Soon after however, we found out the there was a glitch in the booking process and weren't going to be able to leave for another 3 days, however God worked that out also and through a series of long flights and hopefull waits we finally made it to the bahamas. (miracle #2). when we finally go to the airport, i all to soon discoverd that my luggage got lost, however a couple days later i got it back(miracle#3).

our first group of 25 awesome peeps arrived the next afternoon. little did we imagine that on the second day of working at the AIDS camp one of the kids would have a stroke. the first day the Dr. 's said it would take 6 months-1 yr to make a recovery however after much prayer he is now expected to make a full recover in two weeks! (miracle #4). it would take countless time of typing away to tell of all the awesome things that God has done this week. i have been so blessed by the first amazing group we have had and hope to see God's seal in in thier lives until earth and life fades away!

it has been amazing to laugh, pray and do life with the residents of the AIDS camp. Also, god has added a little desert to my dish down here my allowing us to go to a hispanic church, and it has been equaling awesome to talk and minister with my fellow hispanicans down here in the Bahamas. our second group of kids came yesterday and we are excited to see what God has planned for them. God's grace and AMAZING love has been our strenght this past week. please continue to pray for me and my health(not goood this week) and for safetly, grace and anointing for me and the team i am working with. much love to all.

2008-03-01T19:52:00.005-06:00

so it's been brought to my attention that i haven't blogged as of late. Some say that i just might have vanished, so i thought i would put up a little blog to update and put your minds at rest with the assurance i am quite alive.

i recently got back from another trip to mexico with an amazing family from the church i go to. We were there for a week and it was a great time. i got to teach a CPR/first aid class to the current students at our school of ministry and some of the staff. Spoke at the youth group and saw my family. all in all a refreshing time.

I am currently waiting to find out if i get into the BSN program i've been praying to get into in Sep. when i moved here two years ago i never realized how much work it would be, how much perseverance it would take and how hard it would really be, but i'm so blessed and gratefull for the people God has sent into my life to help me keep going and who have been such an encouragement to me. Ans hopefully through this little journey i've been traveling i have continued to grow and be continually rooted in faith.

I am also on a job hunt. it's lasted far more than i thought or wanted it to. for those of you how have had to do this, you know what it's like so there is no need to explain. And for those who have never had to endure the agony of awkward interviews, weird phone calls and interesting conversations with people who don't care....well you'll get your turn soon enough:)

My most current favorite music artist is kim walker(thanks to mc for always finding/spreading the good music) her cd is pretty freaking sweet.

And to sum my life up here is a pic of my most recent painting, which was used in a woman's conference last month. may life's journey continue on step at a time; following after the Christ in trust, hope and faith.

may many mountains b conquered this year

2008-01-08T20:28:00.001-06:00

KEEP THE COURSE

RUN THE RACE

FINISH STRONG

update....

2007-12-24T20:35:00.000-06:00

so...another semester has come and gone. wow...time flies in a slow way...

finished finals friday. and left at 4 am today. . mon dec 24...and have arrived at my home. such a place of blessing and joy. so blessed by the family. it's more than i could ask to have these three weeks with them.

excited to see what's gona happen while i'm home./..try to keep you all updated.

peace.
jm

p.s. have an awesome day of birth of thee christ.

song 12

2007-12-07T17:48:00.000-06:00

Let this be the only love song i cry

Will you be the only love in my life

I ask you to draw me , i said i would run

So though i walk through the valley, yet will i trust

I ask to call me, i said i would come

So though i go up the mountain, yet will i run

Though my song be taken from me, yet will i sing, yet will i praise you

Though the joy be taken from me, yet will i laugh, yet will i shout unto you

Though the light be hidden from me, yet will i walk, yet will i run after you

Though my heart be slain within me yet will i trust, yet i will follow you

Because i know whatever you do ,you do through the eyes of mercy,

And nothing can be added to it , nothing can be taken away.

There is a time for every purpose under the heavens,

So tho my weaping may last the night,

Oh how your joy comes with the light

Though my song be taken from me, yet will i sing, yet will i praise you

Though my heart be slain within me yet will i trust, yet i will follow you

mercy not sacrifice.

2007-11-17T00:19:00.000-06:00

: this is what christ desires-mercy not sacrifice:

so many thoughts. so many emotions. the all consuming reality of Christ ...and his death for me because of his intense love and the uncomprehendable mercy he had upon me. He saw the crowd and had compassion on them. . he saw me and had mercy on me. i feel disgusted ... i don't even have the slightest idea what it is to live a life of mercy, compassion for others. to serve when it will cost me my dreams, to help when it will cost me my life, to give when it is all i have. . . and not out of sacrifice, but because of the simple fact that God has mercy on me. time and time again. He saw the crowd and had compassion, was moved, and gave. because he had mercy on me. oh, if only we lived as chirst. in mercy not religion. He did for me so how much i should do for others....

this is a picture of a kid i found in the streets one day in Mexico. many walk by...some make a small change...most don't endure to the end. to my parents who...have truly lived a life of mercy and not sacrifice. who have given when it has cost them, who have loved when hated, who have lived in mercy and not religion...who have shown me and many others what it is to live like Christ...i am forever thankful...blessed...

truth.

2007-10-17T11:40:00.000-05:00

"Truth was rejected and even killed with a criminals death...truth has been stoned and beheaded, truth has been laid waste and desolate in lonely jungles, truth has been speared and left to drown in the blood of the believer, truth has been burned at the stake and truth is oftentimes jailed....the foundation of the Apostles was Jesus Christ as the head and most of them died agonizing deaths because they spoke of truth in the marketplace.
Well...I experienced this for the first time as i spoke of love and was angrily told to sit down and shut up!!! Wow!!!
These words rang out loudly in my ears recently and resonated deeply in my heart and I will never, NEVER keep this truth silent. "

Ever have it happen that someone writes something and you feel they just said what was on your heart in a better way you could have ever thought of...yeah...me too. and this is one of those times. i didn't write this...but it is something that goes deep into my heart. i have been thinking...praying...questioning...why do we keep silent. when and where should we keep silent. why do we shut up when we shouldn't. because it costs us...because of fear...because of pride...

about two months ago, i was at home and one day at church, someone walked up to me and handed me a note. In this note there was a picture of me as a kid screaming all the note said was "don't be silent". the person went on to say how the remembered me as a kid and how i was always "crazy, loud, always spoke what i thought and believed." As this person walked away she said to me: "Never keep silent jesse, even though it may cost you your life, speak truth. " and to be completely honest, the sad thing is the more it cost, the more i have been tempted to be silent. i don't have the answers, but i do know i never want to keep silent when God is calling me to shout. God give me the strength and boldness to shout in a world that needs truth, the discernment to know when to be silent, and the love to continue on no matter how much it may cost.

p.s. the guys has more blogs...all of which are amazing. www.myspace.com/burnsforgod.

?

2007-10-06T00:06:00.000-05:00

"The ultimate tragedy is not actions of the bad people but the silence over that by the good people"-martin luther king

"all it takes for evil to prevail is for a good man to do nothing"

I have had this in my head all week...month...months... it speaks louder that any thoughts i could write right now................

!

2007-10-03T00:47:00.000-05:00

i hate the devil.

pushing past the crowd and reaching for intimacy

2007-09-22T13:44:00.000-05:00

so...I don't really know where to start or how to say what i want to say... So I’m just gona write and hopefully some of what I’m trying to say will make sense.

When I was in Mexico a couple weeks ago, I had this dream and in it, I was waiting at the airport to get on my plane. As I stood in line, a crazy little old lady came up to me and began to beg me not to get on the plane, stating very confidently that the plane was going to crash and I would die. At first I just kind of laughed at her and reassured her that that wasn’t going to happen, but then thoughts of fear began to enter my mind and I began to question "What if it really does crash" and "what if she is right".So a battle in my head began trying to figure out of I should really get on the plane...I reasoned if I didn't I would lose the ticket and have to pay for another one...but if I did and the lady was right, I would die. Suddenly in my dream, my life on earth was paused and "I" was taken up to heaven a stood before God. I don't even know how to explain it...but I began to ask God if I really was going to die and when He said yes, I began to make excuses...I had a whole list of stupid reasons why I couldn't die yet like: " I haven't done enough", " I want to reach more souls" "I still need to fix my relationship with this person".
After a certain time of "reasoning" with God, and giving Him all my pleas and excuses, God asked me one simple question that shattered me...

He asked me: "Jesse, How much do you truly know me? "

With this simple question, I was broken...the longing in God's eyes shattered me…I was hit with a revelation of how little I know Him. I began to weep at his feet...
I have no way to explain the rest of the dream...but I came to the realization that even if God gave me a whole life time it would never be enough to know Him. I had been so caught up in trying to serve Him; I didn't take time to KNOW Him. I know so little of Christ's heart...and in reality that's the only thing that matters...we where created by Him, for him. And if at the end of the day we didn't come a little closer to His Heart...the day was meaningless....

And so I came back to the U.S...obviously my plane didn't crash ha...and about a week later I was introduced by the song "healer" by planet shakers( compliments of matt, the song is on his blog you should check it out)....moved and broken by the lyrics and the story behind it... I had been listening to the song over and over again all week when I walked into Andy’s office and he was like "dude you got to listen to this song it's amazing" ...and he began to play 'healer'...He then continued to tell me about the story behind it and we began to talk about the woman in the bible who had the "issue" of blood...and how we all have issues...the problem isn't the issue itself, the problem is the crowd. The "issue" didn't keep the woman from getting her miracle, it was the crowd. And dude...the crowd can be anything: fear, pain, disappointment, Relationships we still hold on to, weariness, confusion, despair, broken dreams...but the question is are we willing to push past the crowd and reach for His mantle...to be willing to seek Him with all we are...to raise above the ordinary...and fight for intimacy with God...to live our life worthy of the call...will we give God all the despair we hold inside and let Him turn it into desperation for Him?

I don’t know if any of this made sense…but that is my heart…to know God more each day…to be so desperate for him that I am willing to take a stand and push past the crowd and reach intimacy with Him like none other…

rushford flood refief

2007-09-02T00:02:00.000-05:00

NEVER GIVE UP. that's the sign in the window...and it goes for those in pain, those in despair, theose with loss, those in rushford, us. Let's be light's in our back yard. we are here for such a time as this, so let's choose to make a difference in the lives of those around us and maybe if we are faithful...He will let us shine so bright the Nations will take off thier shoes for Him.

may we, in the end, come to our the ultimate salvation: Jesus.

mexico

2007-08-29T14:26:00.000-05:00

so...here are some pics from the missions trip we took down to mexico. there is really so much to tell and so many amazing things god did in every one's lives there isn't a picture that can portray it. we where there for 10 days and althought there are many more pictures, here are a couple to give you a glimpse into the week.

chels...one of my favorite people on earth.

amazing sister i have

crazy cass doing what she does...blessings. (also one of my favotire people)

grass hoppers anyone?

luda and c cass...

wilderness delishness

2007-08-17T03:19:00.000-05:00

smoke?

canoes

water

amazing sunsets

love

all in all...it was an amazing time..dirt..fires..water...sun...i love. As we where leaveing, i thought i could never get enough of the trees...wanted to move there...forever...until i came home to find one ON my car...and then changed my mind & never wanted to see a tree again...true story.

in due time

2007-08-16T04:50:00.000-05:00

to dream....yes...i am continually thinking about this...so many dreams. some die. some are buried. some surrenderd and others put on hold. i so often get frusterated...all i can think of is when...how...where...is it me or is it God and i honestly have no answers, all i know is with Him in due time
in due time He will fullfill the dreams no one knows about
in due time i will see His dreams for me come to pass
daily, together with christ, i am learning to walk in what He dreams & not only what i want
with Him i will fight against all odds for the dreams and longings He has placed in me even if i may not see it now
we must trust...hope...surrender...walk in faith and fight, with never ending courage. we must not lose hope or vision. yes things take time...and yes we grow weary, but let us rest under His wings, the safest place in existance to be, & always trust that He is faithfull to fulill His promises.

"You're in the midst of a war: a battle between the limits of a crowd seeking the surrender of your dreams, and the power of your true vision to create and contribute. It is the fight between those who will tell you what you cannot do, and the part of you that knows that we are more than our enviroment; that a dream, backed by and uninhibited faith to attain in, is truly a reality with an imminent arrival...Dream the impossible dream, fight the unbeatable foe, hope with your last ounce of courage to reach the unreachable star."

...

FATHER TEACH ME TO WAIT IN YOU, TO TRUST IN YOU, TO HOPE IN YOU, NEVER TO LOSE HEART OR VISION WHILE FIGHTING FOR THE PROMISES YOU HAVE GIVEN ME

dream

2007-08-10T00:39:00.000-05:00

so....i know a blog has been long over due..so i thought i would give a small update...but now that i'm typing i have so many thoughts in my head, i don't even know where to start...

one week lake Geneva with youth...amazing. I truly believe God moved in an awesome way in the hearts of many and although we cannot see it all now...we will indeed see the fruits in the future...

next week one of my best friends decided to go to Afghanistan and spread some love...of thee Christ...thus endangerment of his life...so some intense prayer has been taking place

same week my fam flew into mn...delish moments of truth, joy,laughter, tears and blissfull memories shared. such a blessing.

but really the most consuming thoughts of my heart all come down to one word...DREAM.
i think every person on earth has a dream yet we all dream in our own way...some may hope and strive to make happen. some wish but dare not to believe it will ever come to pass.
in the past couple of months, i feel God has asked me to "kill" my man made dreams and to let HIM begin to implant and develop HIS dreams for me. it may sound confusing...but i honestly think so many times we create our dreams based on what we think we are capable of...based on what we think is right...based on OUR point of view.of course, i fully believe it is essential for us to dream...it is a gift god has given us...but i think the key lies in learning to dream WITH God, to dream Gods dreams for us...His thoughts are so much higher than ours and many times in order to fulfill our purpose, we have to surrender what we think is best and learn to live in what HE knows is best. Many times God brings us through paths we could not have imagined to do things we never could have dreamed of on our own. for so long i have lived with my dreams...which in reality are my plans...and tried to make them happen...but now i simply come wanting to just hear the whispers form His heart and walk according to the dreams, the life, the path He has for me. father may we fix our eyes only on you and settle for nothing less than the life you have created us to live.

...

2007-07-14T06:32:00.000-05:00

surrender.not.defeat

...

many small stones can amount to a huge rock

2007-07-13T17:42:00.000-05:00

Hate...
1. to dislike intensely or passionately
2. An object of detestation
3. feel strongly; grief, sorrow, trouble, pain, anger
4. the emotion of intense dislike; a feeling of dislike so strong that it demands action

It's a powerful word, and can actually be a very good one. In fact, we would be well off to live by this word. For the past couple of weeks, God has been challenging me to hate; to hate sin, to hate evil. Honestly, looking back on my life path, I am beginning to see how easy it is to let what we like to call weaknesses into our lives. The thing is, it isn’t a weakness; I think we call it that to make ourselves feel better about it. In reality what it is, is sin; something we must fight against and rid ourselves of. We are called to take a stand.

Stand…
1. to remain firm or steadfast, as in a cause
2. to have a certain course, or attitude, as of support, opposition, or resistance
3. to face or encounter
4. to endure without giving way

I think though, one of the problems is we like to hide our imperfections. Thus, instead of standing we hide, instead of asking for help and accountability for something we may be struggling with, we hide it from God and others. We will never have victory by doing this. Granted, I don't have all the answers, but I do believe if we choose to stand and fight against evil TOGEATHER we will have a much greater chance of success. We can't do anything on our own. No one ever has or ever will win a battle alone... so let us stand together. Let’s choose today to fight, to hate evil. Let's live a holy life, one worthy of Thee Christ.

reliant voyage

2007-07-12T05:02:00.000-05:00

"For i know the plans i have for you, says the lord..."

JOURNEY:

1. going from one place to another,usually taking a long time

2. to travel over or through

3. process or course of a passage

4. defined course of traveling

5. distance traveld; an act of travelling

So life is a journey...I got that far... the hard part is understanding the process of this journey. There are moments of over whelming joy, cherished friendships, and unforgettable memories. But, at the same time, life's long journey contains so many encounters with "bumps in the road". There is more pain, trial and confusion contained in this life then we would like. We may try to follow a defined path, a desired goal, or a cherished dream, but the more we try, the more opposition we may seem to encounter. Now, standing face to face with this trial, it is no longer a little "bump", it has become a giant, an immovable mountain...one that will not move yet we are unable to climb. knowing not what to do, where to go or how to react to such things, we stand on the border line of defeat and surrender...this is when trust must come in.

TRUST:

1. acceptance of the truth with out investigation or evidence.

2. firm believe in the reliability of someone

3. confidence and Hope

4. allow someone to have/look after, to commit the safe keeping of

5. confidence place in some one making them the nominal owner

To trust God with all...to walk this life in complete assurance of HE who loves us and paid such a precious price for our souls. To keep walking with our gaze fixed only on Jesus...He is all we are and ever will be. He is I AM. Our rock, refuge, fortress, shelter, comfort, redeemer, lover, and HOPE. It is He who will walk with you...your identity, destiny, future, dreams, desires, fears and burdens, worries and pains all lie on Him. He has carried our cross, now all we have to do is surrender at his feet.

Jesus Wept

2007-07-07T15:13:00.000-05:00

This past week, i had a friend who had been in africa for the past 9 months come visit...during our conversation, she pulled out the following pictures and began to tell me some of the stories that, although the world has heard them many times, but still refuses to listen. All i could think about while i was looking at these pictures was how God must weep when He sees the ones He loves in such pain. Yet i belive, that He weeps so much more when He sees us, who have the power to make a difference, do nothing. The Call... is to give all you are; and indeed He is calling us, people of love, so rise; to cry for those who feel pain, to speak for those without a voice, to fight...and never give up.

About 24,000 people die every day from hunger or hunger-related causes

600 million children live in absolute poverty

30,000 children die each day due to poverty. That is about 210,000 children each week

Around 270 million children have no access to healthcare services
The number of youth in the world surviving on less than a dollar a day in 2000 was an estimated 238 million

2.2 million children die each year because they are not immunized
An estimated 1.2 million children are trafficked each year for labour or sex

Every year more than 10 million children die of hunger and preventable diseases - that's over 30,000 per day and one every 3 seconds.

Global estimates of street children vary from 100 million (half of them in Latin America) to 250 million, and their numbers are rapidly increasing

15 million children orphaned due to HIV/AIDS
unsafe water and sanitation cause about 4,000 child deaths per day.

Number of children in the world: 2.2 billion. Number in poverty: 1 billion
Each day, 5,000 children become refugees

Uninhibited

2007-07-07T00:57:00.000-05:00

So we shall go on and out into the night

clothed in nothing but Jesus Christ.
Throwing off the judgments of humanity and realists;

hate talkers and bitter hearted men
We will know only that of His will,

with fire in our hearts and courage in our steps.
Speaking light and throwing darkness from our paths

with tears cried & prayers offered;
We will walk unconscious to the glares and unwarried by the hurts.
The battle is His, so being stripped of our self,

we shall walk an uninhibited path,

encompassed by glory touching.